Better Than Catnip
by Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010
Summary: When faced with bullying from his peers, Alan withdraws into himself and needs the love and support of his family and friends to overcome this trial that is one of the more unfortunately common occurrences in everybody's life. AU and does have some triggering language that may offend. Rated M to be safe. You've been warned. COMPLETE
1. Longing To Be Normal

**_A/N: Here is the anticipated 1st chapter of my story Better Than Catnip (lame title, but you'll understand as you read) This story IS an AU. If I'm being honest with myself and you all, I really didn't even want to post this story because as you read this story you'll learn a little of my life. Yes everything in this story that happens to Alan happened to me and yes I was self-destructive as well as contemplating suicide because of the bullying I suffered. I had my note written and the day planned, but I couldn't do it. I've lived to the best of my ability since the day I planned to be my last for the last ten years._** ** _I'm baring my soul, which is still raw when in regards to this._**

 _ **Anyway, on with the story. Same as always, reviews are welcomed but if you don't have anything nice to say then keep your comments to yourself.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

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A tinkling of bells could be heard coming up the hall and barely a minute later, Alan rounded the corner making a kissy face and clicking his tongue at the creature he held in his arms. Gordon and Virgil barely managed to suppress their snorts of laughter. They didn't find the face Alan was making funny per se, they'd just never seen him so playful…unless you counted the times he was pranking their household with Gordon. In recent months however, Alan had become subdued in the number of times he smiled or laughed.

He'd been bullied horrifically at his old school. The patriarch had been forced to pull Alan from his private school when Alan became self-destructive. The boy they'd gotten back had been a shadow of his former self and it bothered the brothers that the school hadn't done anything to punish those responsible for the bullying. Nobody but Alan really knew what had gone on at the school and Alan had taken to keeping quiet unless directly spoken to. He stayed quiet most of the time anyway, having practically taken a vow of silence.

Virgil smiled behind his hand when Alan walked into the living room to pick up the feather teaser toy. The younger boy sat silently on the floor and released his burden with a smile. The tinkling of the bells got louder for a split second before the sound was replaced with the soft, soothing sound of purring. Gordon and Virgil both continued to stay quiet as they heard the comforting sound.

"So Al, have you picked out a name for the little guy yet?" Gordon asked as he stood from the couch to lean against the archway of the living room door. Alan's mouth moved but he spoke so quietly that neither of his brothers heard him. Virgil and Gordon shared a look before shrugging. It was pointless to try to prompt Alan to speak, ever since he'd been bullied he'd seemed to have given up speaking altogether. He didn't even argue with their dad anymore and for a fifteen-year-old Alan to not have a daily shouting match with their dad though nice to not have to referee, was unnerving.

Alan started flicking the feather teaser toy around and the sphynx kitten darted back and forth in an effort to catch the toy. Virgil couldn't help but to smile. It wasn't intended to adopt the kitten, but on a rescue two weeks' prior – Virgil had been unfortunate enough to have a terrified mama cat that was heavy with unborn kittens come scrambling out onto the rooftop of a burning apartment complex and take shelter in the rescue basket when Virgil's attention was occupied elsewhere. Truth be told, she must have had a kitten from another litter clamped tight in her maw because Virgil found her and gave her back to her owner whom they'd rescued from the burning complex. But he didn't find the kitten until he'd gotten back to the island and was cleaning up from the rescue.

The kitten was old enough to run around and its ears and eyes were opened, so Virgil knew the kitten was over a month old. Virgil hadn't known what to do with the kitten, sure he adored cats and dogs alike, but he knew their life was too hectic to have a pet. He'd carried it through the halls with the intention of taking it to his dad's office when the kitten's ears perked up and it jumped from Virgil's arms. He'd been forced to give chase and he had to admit the kitten was a damn fast little critter. Running silently through the darkened halls, Virgil felt dismayed when he noticed the kitten run straight into Alan's bedroom. He didn't want to wake his little brother; considering it was well past two in the morning, but when he turned on his LED light in his phone he searched around until he saw what he couldn't believe.

The kitten had somehow gotten onto Alan's bed and was making an effort to calm the younger boy from what appeared to be a nightmare. The kitten was rubbing it's furless skin along Alan's cheek and purred audibly. Virgil stood by for a few more minutes and watched as the kitten calmed Alan down and crawled onto the pillow that Alan's head was resting on and curled up on top of his brother's head.

Virgil smiled again at the reminder. It was a sweet memory after all. The next morning, Alan was woken up by purring and he'd gone to their dad and used the patented puppy pout to win over their dad. Jeff nodded his approval after Virgil gave his account of how the kitten had worked to calm Alan down from his nightmare.

Skip forward two weeks and the kitten still didn't appear to have a name. Or if it did, Alan hadn't announced it. Virgil walked over and crouched in front of Alan.

"Hey kiddo, can you tell me what the little guy's name is?" Virgil asked to which Alan replied softly that it was a girl…not a guy. "Okay, can you tell me her name?"

"Sheba…" Alan whispered.

"Sheba? I like it. Works for a cat so regal." Virgil commented as he watched how the kitten, formerly known as no-name licked her paws and proceeded to groom. Sheba stopped mid-lick to look at the brothers. She stood up and walked over to Alan and crawled into his lap, getting comfortable before she started purring. "You like her Al?"

Alan nodded silently with a barely there smile. Virgil wished there was more he could do to bring Alan out of his self-imposed silence but he knew better than to pry. Alan didn't handle prying very well, often getting mad in the past and on the defensive. Even Fermat hadn't known what was wrong with Alan, or if he did…mum's the word.

"Hey Al, I'll be up in my room. If you need anything or have any questions come let me know." Virgil said, extending the offer that if Alan wanted to talk, Virgil would be in his room where he could speak freely. All the brothers knew Virgil was an excellent secret keeper and he maintained a doctor/patient confidentiality even if it wasn't medically relevant.

Alan nodded quietly but didn't make a move to get up. Virgil playfully ruffled Alan's hair before he left the living room to go to his room. He wanted to do a little research on how to potentially help Alan and he couldn't do that with Alan being in the same room. Virgil was bad at not looking sympathetically at his youngest brother.

… … … … … … …

Heaving a sigh Virgil looked closely at the screen as he tried to understand the psychology behind Alan's self-imposed silence. His brother had been bullied at school, and Alan had become self-destructive to cope with it. When they'd asked Fermat, what Alan had been doing, Fermat wouldn't say. He just shook his head and told them he promised he wouldn't tell anyone. Both Jeff and Brains had tried getting him to open up about it, but Fermat maintained that he wasn't going to betray Alan's trust.

What little they knew of the situation, Alan got bullied in class when the teacher left the room which was frequently. The school had to make cutbacks and they'd fired the librarian. The teacher that left the room frequently had to go and check on the students in free period in the library every fifteen minutes or so and would leave the students in Alan's shop class to their own devices. Alan would get cornered by a few of the boys in his class and teased because he hadn't gotten a girlfriend from the neighboring school. Never mind the fact that Alan said he wasn't allowed to date until he was sixteen. The other boys in his class made gay jokes and other lewd comments to Alan about his preferred taste. Alan wasn't gay, had always ogled girls when they went on family vacations. But no matter what he said in his defense, the bullies were relentless.

Alan had developed CVS or cyclic vomiting syndrome and any time he saw those that bullied him he'd get sick. After losing weight he couldn't afford to lose, skipping meals to avoid the bullies that targeted him the moment he entered the room and having his locker graffitied one too many times, Alan had been pushed too far.

Virgil would never forget the call. Fermat had been frantic when he returned to their shared dorm to find Alan already in bed at five in the evening. Fermat said he'd contemplated leaving Alan to sleep but something just hadn't seemed right. He went to check his best friend and found him grey with pallor. When he tried to wake him, and failed he physically rolled Alan onto his back and saw the X-Acto knife and the blood on both of Alan's arms. He'd panicked and screamed for help, bringing the hall director running. The assistant hall director of their dorm had entered also and restrained Fermat when the younger boy tried to get to his best friend.

An ambulance whisked Alan away to hospital and Fermat called the island in tears. His distress and the news of Alan being taken to hospital for treatment of self-inflicted injuries had brought the entire Tracy family and Brains to the mainland. Jeff and Brains had found out from Fermat before he invoked his right to remain silent though this wasn't a police investigation…yet. Alan was bullied by a few select students and teachers had done nothing to stop it. The bullying continued in front of faculty and they looked the other way. Jeff and Brains were quick to gather their boys' belongings and demanded their money back before pulling both boys from the boarding school. The school hadn't heard the last of Jefferson Tracy however, he threatened with a lawsuit before he left to go see his son who'd woken up briefly after having the wounds sewn up and bound.

A soft knock at the door drew Virgil's attention and he closed the window on his laptop before he answered the door. His youngest brother was standing outside in the hall looking up at him with worried eyes. Virgil stepped aside to let Alan in and he watched as his brother came in and sat on Virgil's bed. Sheba was still in Alan's arms, standing in his lap and nuzzling his neck. The bell tinkled lightly with Sheba's movements. Virgil sat on his bed beside Alan, though providing enough room for his brother to not feel smothered. He sat in silence and Virgil did too. Neither of them spoke for several long minutes before Alan murmured softly – so softly that Virgil strained to hear what it was he'd said.

"They called me a faggot. I don't even like boys." Alan said softly. He chewed on his lip before he spoke on. "I didn't do anything to them, I don't know why I was the victim."

"Want to tell me about it?" Virgil asked, knowing he was edging on dangerous territory. Alan didn't like opening up about his encounter, kept silent about it anytime he was asked about it.

"You know how we were given free weekends to leave campus?" Alan asked softly. Virgil nodded in reply but didn't speak further giving Alan the stage to talk about what happened to him. "We went to a teen's club, there aren't any alcoholic beverages or anything and we have to have our student ID's to get in. A few girls from the neighboring schools were there and wanted to dance. I don't dance and when one of the girls tried to pull me on the floor, I resisted. She moved on to Joey and Thomas and they started picking on me when she said something about how I didn't want to dance with her. After that I was the target."

"What happened besides you not wanting to dance?" Virgil asked softly as he saw Alan curl in on himself.

"She wanted to fool around and I didn't want to. She kept telling me how good it'd make me feel and when she tried pulling me in the bathroom, I pushed her away and left. I guess I gave the impression that I wasn't into girls, but I was just following dad's orders. I'm not allowed to date until I'm sixteen and I assume doing a little fooling around is included in that order." Alan hung his head, hiding his eyes behind his bangs. "It was on the heels of that that Joey and Thomas started teasing me about being gay and calling me a homo among other things and asking what I liked and…how I liked it."

Virgil had never felt so bad for one of his brothers before. Sure, he felt bad for Gordon when he'd gotten hurt in the Hydrofoil accident and when any of them got physically injured in anyway, but to be psychologically hurt and picked on relentlessly had to have taken a toll. It did as a matter of fact. Alan had taken up cutting to cope with it. He'd gotten so stressed out that he was unintentionally starving himself as well as developing CVS. It wasn't healthy and Virgil was glad they'd gotten Alan away from the bullies, away from that school and back home where he belonged. Both boys had been enrolled in a satellite program recommended by Lady Penelope on the island and were blossoming. Alan's CVS had lessened significantly, only reappearing when he became stressed out over something but that was where Sheba helped him.

The kitten seemed in tune to Alan and she loved to cuddle. She stayed with Alan like a new limb and seemed to sense when Alan was emotionally distraught. It wasn't until Sheba was accidently brought to the island and their father agreed that Alan could keep her that they'd seen him smile again. It was a start and Virgil knew it would take some time for Alan to recover, but he hoped his brother would recover quickly with Sheba's help.

"You know, I know it doesn't make it right or okay – but I wanted to tell you a little secret." Virgil said, changing position on the bed by pulling his legs up and crisscrossing them before leaning forward. The look on Alan's face told Virgil that Alan was hesitant to continue talking. "You know that I was bullied similarly to you?"

"Really?" Alan looked at Virgil with a furrowed brow. His eyes grew wider at Virgil's revelation.

"Yeah, I never told dad or Scott and I hid it from John when he asked about it. I was ashamed, the bullies heard that I'd broken up with my girlfriend and like you it was because I wouldn't fool around. I just didn't want to do those things at that age and I got picked on…pretty badly." Virgil admitted, lowering his voice so it was kept just between the two of them.

"So, what'd you do?" Alan asked as he was absentmindedly rubbing behind Sheba's ears and Virgil smiled at the kitten in his brother's arms.

"What does any teenager that's ashamed of being bullied do? I pulled away, started isolating myself, throwing myself into my art, focusing more on my music and just staying away from my peers. It went on for a few months my sophomore year of high school." Virgil said, smile falling to a frown as he remembered the few months of hell he'd endured. "I had a few friends that stuck by me, defending me against the gay slurs and other suggestions that I was closeted. But finally, it reached a point where I was ready to call it quits."

"Tell me you didn't…" Alan murmured to Virgil, scooting closer to hug his brother that was equally as close to if not closer than Scott.

Virgil held Alan tightly, rubbing his baby brother's back in reassurance. "I didn't…but I thought about it. I just wanted it to stop, I didn't like waking up in the morning and hoping I'd get hit by a truck walking to school or that I just would get lucky and not wake up one morning. Like you I quit eating, became destructive, started doing things I wouldn't normally do to get away from my tormentors. I started skipping class, not going to school, just being an all-around bad student. One of my teachers noticed how much I'd withdrawn and got involved after eavesdropping on a conversation from inside the bathroom.

"What happened?" Alan asked quietly, safely ensconced in Virgil's arms.

"My teacher waited until class was due to let out, called me out to stay after and help clean up, made me talk about what was going on before going with me to the principal to report the bullying. I begged him not to tell dad. You see the bullying made me question myself. I started wondering if the possibility was there of me being…you know and after talking with my teacher and the principal more about it I was told that I needed to quit thinking about it. I was told that it'd do me no good to focus on the subject, I was still a kid and I'd figure it out as I got older." Virgil said offering a half smile to Alan.

"So, have you figured it out yet?" Alan asked shyly, feeling sure he knew the answer but wanting his brother's confirmation.

"Straight as a board, you have nothing to worry about kiddo. You'll be fine. I know it bothers you now, but eventually it'll be behind you and you'll be able to move past. It won't be easy and it sure as hell won't be your last time encountering these kinds of issues, but you can't let it get to you." Virgil said smiling at his youngest brother in hopes that his brother would grow more comfortable with him enough to talk freely.

"The night…that Fermat …found me. I didn't mean to take it quite so far." Alan admitted with pain in his voice. "I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't kiddo. Things like you were dealing with are never easy to handle alone and when you feel like it's just getting worse you feel like your life is spiraling out of control." Virgil said, knowing that Alan was preparing to impart something big.

"The bullying had reached a point where a slam book was made, not just about me but about other students as well. A page was written about me…not just a paragraph, but a full front to back page. Someone thought it'd be funny to Xerox the pages and distribute them to the student body." Alan who'd previously ducked his head in shame at what he was telling his brother raised his gaze to show blue eyes which looked like they were flooded with tears. He collapsed into Virgil's arms as he continued his story. "I got ahold of one of the pages and it was full of hate speech, gay slurs, things saying I should go kill myself and that the world would be better off without me and…I lost it."

Virgil vowed that he'd contact the school to see if one of those papers were kept on file and even if it killed him, he'd hunt down the little maggots that did this to his brother and make them pay.

"I ran. I was in the cafeteria when I was handed a flyer and it was from the slam book. I read it…all of it and I couldn't handle it. Fermat wasn't there to see me run, he had a science club meeting so I was by myself. I felt like I was suffocating and I couldn't handle it. I ran from the cafeteria and straight back to my dorm. I only meant to cut a little, just to relieve the pressure – to feel something and I cut too deeply. I was afraid of going to the school nurse and so I laid down, hoping that if I held still it'd stop bleeding and I could go back to class. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital with all of you guys around me." Alan said, cheek pressed into Virgil's chest.

"You really scared us all. Fermat was frantic when he called us, telling us that he couldn't wake you up and that you were being taken to the hospital. Then the school called to let us know also and that just made it worse on dad. He couldn't wait for us to go retrieve John, flew straight there with Tracy 1. We called Penelope and Parker to ask Parker to take us there when we got John and they were both good about letting us use their services. When we got to the hospital, they'd gotten you stable. Out of the critical zone. Dad barely left your side and even when he did you had one of us with you until you woke up." Virgil said, sad at remembering how eerily similar things had been to their early lives. "It was almost exactly like when mom died and you were in the hospital after the accident. You quit talking, mostly made little noises in place of speech and we wondered how to get you back. This time sadly was no different."

"I'm sorry." Alan whispered, sad beyond all recognition because he'd caused this.

"Don't be. It's not like you asked to be bullied." Virgil said before reaching Alan to reach the kitten taking the time to begin stroking Sheba on the top of her head. The kitten purred at the affection, but didn't do much else.

"I'm still sorry. I could have found other ways of releasing the stress of being bullied, but I couldn't find an appropriate outlet. The guys that bullied me were on my sports teams, were in all my classes and lived in the same hall as me and Fermat. I didn't know what else to do. I thought about running away, but I didn't want to cause a search to come up. I went for the outlet I knew." Alan admitted.

"How long were you cutting before this incident?" Virgil asked hoping to have his brother talk more with him.

"A little over a year." Alan murmured. "I started just after the hydrofoil accident, when Gordon was discharged to rehab."

"Can I ask why?" Virgil asked knowing without a doubt that he was crossing into yet another dangerous territory.

Alan merely shrugged his shoulders, unsure of why he started himself. It wasn't like he'd just decided that it was what he was going to do, he didn't know why he started. Best he could figure was that he just got too stressed out and made a wrong decision.

"Well, promise you'll come to any of us if you feel like you're getting too overwhelmed again." Virgil said, hoping his brother began to understand just how worried they all were for him. "We love you and Sheba loves you…we don't want to lose you."

"I'll try." Alan whispered before he was pulled into a hug by Virgil. Sheba squeezed between the two of them and gave a squeaky meow, before staying squished between the brothers contentedly. When Alan pulled away he offered Virgil a tremulous smile before Virgil ruffled his hair.

"That's all we're asking for kiddo, we hate seeing you keep to yourself the way you've been doing so far. It feels wrong that the house is so quiet, especially since we know this isn't your normal." Virgil said softly, carding his fingers through Alan's hair. "We want our loud mouth back, and I mean that in the kindest way possible."

Alan's smile dropped completely and the youngest withdrew from his older brother marginally. Virgil knew something else was bothering his brother and wanted to know what. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Alan shook his head, frown stealing the light from Alan's eyes.

"Don't give me that. What else did they do to you?" Virgil asked, careful to sound caring instead of overpowering and angry.

"It doesn't matter." Alan whispered.

"Yes, it does. Tell me." Virgil gently demanded of his brother. He watched until his brother seemed to harden his resolve before he softly revealed what other injustices the bullies had put him through.

"They told me my voice was annoying, that I made people want to kill themselves. Every time I'd speak in class to even answer a question, they'd say things like 'here we go again', none of my teachers tried to stop them when they'd heckle me or say things like I should kill myself to save them the trouble of seeing my ugly face." Alan's voice became more strained the more he spoke until it was hard for him to make more than a little noise in his throat. Virgil didn't hesitate to pull Alan into a firm hug when he saw how much the things said to Alan had hurt him. It angered him beyond all possible thought. Virgil felt extreme rage burning hot in his veins at his baby brother's pain. The fifteen-year old didn't deserve the pain he'd felt. Nobody deserved that kind of pain.

"Don't believe any of that crap, you know you're not annoying. You don't make any of us want to kill ourselves. You're my little brother, and I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that alone." Virgil said, keeping Alan crushed tightly into his chest while his baby brother sobbed out the hurt.

"I don't know why they said those things to me…I didn't do…anything to deserve that kind of treatment. Nothing, so why? Why did they think it fair to make me hate myself? Hate being alive?" Alan asked, pulling away to look at Virgil despite his eyes being almost completely obscured with tears. The older brother watched as the tears broke free, joining the other tears with their journey to drip from Alan's cheeks.

"Because they're jealous, they want what you have. An amazing dad, a beautiful mother that stopped people the moment she entered a room, brothers that love and protect their own, wealth, family, friends…you have what they want and they don't like you because of that. You have what they want and so they're just making you question your worth. You don't owe them any explanations. You're here now and you are finally getting what you wanted, an education from the island. You don't have to leave home nine months out the year, just to get a decent education. You can stay here, be with your family, people that love and adore you. Practically everything you could want."

"I just wanted to fit in, like a normal kid. Why can't I just be some ordinary kid? Why do I have to be singled out because of my father's earned wealth? I didn't ask for dad to become a multi-billionaire, I didn't ask for any of it, so why should they feel like I don't matter? I'm still a person, I have feelings and it just sucks that I should face this, maybe not completely on my own, but alone. Fermat only understands half of it, so do all of you…no offence. I didn't want this." Alan whispered brokenly. When Virgil looked down at his little brother, he loathed the kids that had been so cruel to Alan. They made Alan question himself, his self-worth, practically anything about him and he wanted more than anything to make those kids understand just how badly they'd treated Alan. Karma is a bitch that's all he wished to say in that moment.

"I know you didn't want this kiddo, but you did and it's over now. Dad has said he won't make you go back. He's making your education permanent to the island." Virgil said as he hugged Alan again, offering comfort to his brother while he worked to compose himself. Virgil grabbed a tissue from the box on his nightstand and handed it to Alan to mop up his face. He knew if Scott and John, hell if their dad or Gordon saw Alan the way he was with a puffy face, swollen eyes and a runny nose – Virgil would be grilled even if he told his family that he'd been told in confidence that Virgil would keep Alan's secret.

"I bet you think I'm just being a big baby. What kind of teenage boy can't handle a bit of bullying from his peers? It's not like I'm the first to be bullied and called names." Alan said as he blew his nose. "I feel like such a wuss."

"You're not a wuss, it's okay to be upset. You were hurt badly by your peers. Boys you thought were your friends and teammates." Virgil said. "I wish there was something I could do to help you get past this."

"You did." Alan whispered as he stroked the kitten that had climbed up Alan's shirt and laid along the back of his neck to nuzzle him. "You brought me Sheba."

"She really helps you, doesn't she?" Virgil asked as he reached up to rub the side of Sheba's head.

"More than you'd know." Alan replied as he turned his head to look at Sheba who ran her sandpaper rough tongue across Alan's cheek. "Thank you, Virgil."

"No problem kiddo." Virgil said before he gathered Alan and Sheba in his arms and gave them both a tight squeeze. "No problem at all."


	2. A Damning Secret

_**A/N: Thank you to those that favorited, followed and reviewed my first chapter of this story. It's made it an easier pill to swallow that a small number of folks are so far enjoying this story. Same as the last chapter, there is mentions of triggering language that some may find offensive. As you learned in the first chapter, I made Alan suffer a condition I developed known as CVS (cyclic vomiting syndrome). It sucked, still does when I relapse. Something you should know about CVS, it's not bulimia nor is it anorexia. It's a legitimate ailment that you can't control. In my case, I really had this issue every day consecutively for about three months, and I lost a little over sixty pounds in those three months. As for what led to Alan's bullying, it started the same for me...I refused to sleep with a guy and the bullies in school assumed I was gay and ran with it.**_

 _ **And as for the rumors that are mentioned later in this chapter, I really did have rumors circulating about me that included me being a hooker, having a sugar daddy, being pregnant, being bulimic. Trust me they got more outlandish the longer the bullying went on. And I feel I should mention, the slam book that I referenced in the last chapter (a hate page was created about me on Facebook by the bullies) and a few of those that were bullying me spray painted my name on the underside of the town bridge stating I was a derogatory female name. I was fortunate that my parents didn't question my brother's curfew when he went to the town bridge with industrial strength cleaner that he got from the school janitor to clean the slander to save my reputation in our town.**_

 _ **Reviews are appreciated, but I will say this. If you don't have anything kind to say or constructive then keep your comments to yourself.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

 **Past**

 _Alan walked into the shop classroom the following Monday after his off-campus break to the teens club across town over the weekend. He noticed the laughter from Joey and Thomas, the sly looks being sent his way from the boys at their table. Alan took off his uniform blazer and hung it on the coat pegs by the door before he started rolling up the sleeves of his white poplin shirt. He walked over to grab his goggles, leather apron and tools that were assigned at the beginning of the term. When his back was turned, sharpening the pencils he'd need to mark the blocks of wood for their assignment a sharp bump came from behind, making Alan slip with his sharpening blade. Hissing quietly, Alan gripped his hand tight into a fist before turning to glare at the person that bumped him._

" _Oops." Thomas said with a mocking tone._

" _You made me cut my hand." Alan growled before shoving past Thomas to go to the bathroom. It wasn't until he was in the bathroom washing the cut on the palm of his hand that Joey came in. He acted indifferent when Alan was washing his hand. However, when Alan turned to grab a paper towel to dry his hand, Joey stepped in front of him and forced him into a corner. "What…?"_

" _You need to get your faggot ass out of this room. Nobody wants you in here. Me especially. You make me uncomfortable." Joey said menacingly._

" _What? I'm washing my hands and I'm not a faggot. I don't even like boys." Alan said, shoving Joey back from him to grab a paper towel from the dispenser. "Besides, even if I was gay…which I'm not. I wouldn't go for the likes of you."_

" _Sure, you aren't Tracy, though that's not what Hannah said the other night at the club." Joey said before he made a lewd gesture at Alan. "You missed a good one."_

" _I'm not allowed to date until I'm sixteen, I'm just following my dad's orders." Alan said as he turned to leave the bathroom._

" _Banging some chick doesn't always involve dating Tracy. You need to cut loose, live a little." Joey said, tone completely mocking Alan._

" _No." Alan argued before he pushed through the door to go find his teacher to get a hall pass to the nurse. The cut was deep and wouldn't stop bleeding. Alan was afraid he might need one or two stitches from the nurse. Walking into the classroom, Alan was dismayed to see the teacher wasn't present. Glancing at the clock, Alan figured his teacher Mr. Huller was checking on the kids in the library. Since the school was forced to make cutbacks with the less than stellar enrollment rates, the librarian was let go and other teachers were required to supervise more than one class. Mr. Huller was one of those that had to multi-task, which unfortunately for Alan meant Mr. Huller was across campus in the library to make sure the students weren't getting up to mischief._

 _Not seeing any other way to get to the nurse without being caught without a hall pass, Alan pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and tied it around his hand to stem the flow of blood. Hopefully it'd stop soon. He resumed grabbing his supplies, moving away from his assigned table where Thomas and Joey were making the other boys look at him, laughing lowly._

 _Trying to ignore them, Alan began assembling his project. It was hard to do with his dominant hand having a huge cut across the palm, but he managed to make it work. The snickers and laughter continued through the rest of the class period, but Alan ignored them. He smiled at the frame to the chair he was making. It was stupid to make chairs since half the students rarely took them home. But Alan wanted to surprise his dad with it. His dad's birthday was coming up and Alan wanted to gift him the deck chair he was making._

 _When class let out, he was once again bumped by Thomas who shoved him out of his way. Alan caught himself on the frame of the door, grimacing as the cut on his hand reopened. Balling his hand into a fist again, Alan tried not to let them get to him. His grabbed his blazer and walked swiftly across campus to see the nurse for his hand._

 _Unfortunately for Alan that wasn't the last time he'd been picked on. He got heckled in each of his classes every time he tried to answer a question, shoved into during lunch and someone intentionally dumped their carton of milk over his head. Alan bit his tongue as he stormed from the cafeteria, intent on ignoring those that were picking on him. When it happened again the next day, and the day after that – Alan found his patience slowly dwindling. None of his teachers raised a hand to help him even when he was being picked on right in front of their eyes._

 _When it occurred continuously for three weeks, Alan finally had had enough. When he was bumped into again during shop class, Alan turned and forcefully shoved the other boy away from him. He'd had enough._

" _Back off!" Alan growled, glaring at the other boys that had been his enemies. "What'd I ever do to you to deserve this?"_

" _You're weird!" Joey said which made the whole class laugh. Their teacher was once again absent, supervising the study period in the library for a few minutes before returning to the shop class._

" _You all have known me for the last four years and you think I'm the weird one?" Alan asked, astounded that they thought he was weird when he was probably one of the most normal students that attended their school. "What, dare I ask makes you think I'm the weird one?"_

" _You didn't want to dance with Hannah from the club!" Thomas said._

" _I don't dance." Alan replied flatly._

" _Then what were you doing going to a club? It is a dance club." Joey asked, giving Alan an antagonizing look._

" _It's a teens club, and you don't have to dance. There's an arcade and a lounge area. I was in the lounge watching a movie." Alan said, standing almost face to face with Thomas who was the same height as Alan if not a little bulkier. Joey on the other hand was shorter than Alan and stocky._

" _Well then what about you and Hannah? She offered to go to scratch an itch for you." Joey asked with a sneer._

" _I didn't have an itch that needed scratching. Unlike you I abide by my dad's rules. I don't feel like getting my ass grounded." Alan was growing more and more angry at the situation. Why couldn't Joey and Thomas lay off? So, he didn't want to sow his wild oats as his grandma used to say about growing teenage boys, it didn't mean he was weird._

" _Boys, get back to work." Mr. Huller said as he entered the room, not even trying to get to the bottom of why Alan, Thomas and Joey were squaring off. When they separated, Alan was more than happy to take his project across the other side of the room and ignore the other students that either did nothing to defend him or joined in when it came to bullying him._

 _When lunch time came around three hours later, Alan who'd grown to dislike even entering the cafeteria room for food had decided to skip. He wasn't feeling too great and he doubted being in a room surrounded by food would do much to ease the sick feeling in his stomach. When he entered his microbiology class, he felt how all the eyes in the room were directed at him. It made his skin crawl being looked at like he was the specimen under the microscope._

 _Taking his seat, Alan didn't fail to notice how the moment he sat down the student assigned to the seat beside Alan gathered his books and moved to an empty spot in the front row. Alan swallowed thickly as he felt like a heavy stone settled in the pit of his stomach. He remained quiet through class, refusing to raise his hands even going so far as to reply with an "I don't know" despite knowing the answer to the question when he was called on._

 _Another week came and went before the proverbial straw broke the camel's back. Alan was in his art composition class when he was approached by a fellow student and asked point blank if he was gay and if he would be interested in going out. The sick feeling got worse suddenly and Alan barely had time to run from the room with a hand clamped over his mouth before he made it to the bathroom where he was violently sick. It didn't stop though, Alan continued to heave for almost a half hour. Nobody came to check on him, despite his teacher being in the room when Alan fled. Alan stayed hidden in the bathroom until class let out at which point Alan dragged himself to his dorm to rest. He didn't feel up to interacting with the rest of his classmates when he knew he'd be facing the same accusatory glares from the other boys, the whispers and the snickers. It made Alan feel small._

 _He made a small cut on the inside of his arm with his razor. Small enough to not be noticed, but enough to offer Alan a bit of release. When he felt sufficiently under control he cleaned up his mess and changed out of his uniform. He dreaded dinner, debated on asking Fermat to just bring him a sandwich. His mind was made up for him when Fermat entered the room, looking at him with a sad gaze._

" _Lay it on me." Alan said, knowing that Fermat must have heard the rumor._

" _Y-You don't want t-t-to know." Fermat said with shame._

" _That bad, huh?" Alan asked, knowing he could have avoided all of this if he'd just fooled around a little with Hannah. Maybe then he wouldn't be picked on._

" _Apparently y-you've got a b-boyfriend at the s-school." Fermat said before elaborating. "Or an a-admirer."_

" _Really?" Alan asked with a grimace._

" _Yes, h-he told a few g-guys he asked you o-out and you r-ran away." Fermat said softly before continuing. "Everyone t-thinks you ran a-away to hide your e-embarrassment."_

" _I ran away because I was about to throw up. God, Ferm…what did I do to deserve this?" Alan asked, burying his head in his hands._

" _M-Maybe you s-should take this t-to the headmaster." Fermat suggested going to sit in his computer chair in front of Alan. He hated seeing his friend so unlike himself. "This h-has gone on l-long enough."_

" _No, I don't need him fighting my battles for me. I'll get this figured out. Somehow." Alan said dejectedly._

" _I k-know it's probably the last t-thing on your mind, b-but do you want t-to go get dinner w-with me?" Fermat asked hoping that since it was the weekend and they could leave campus that they could go somewhere to get dinner instead of going to the cafeteria._

" _No, I'm good Ferm. Thanks though." Alan said, grabbing his pajamas and leaving the bathroom door slightly ajar while he changed. Normally he and Fermat didn't care if they changed clothes in front of the other. It's not like they looked. But with all that Alan was dealing with, he was feeling self-conscious and wanted to hide._

 _Fermat felt horrible for Alan, wanted more than anything to help him but there wasn't much he could do. He could go talk to the headmaster for Alan, but if Alan didn't want him involved there wasn't much that could be done. Fermat couldn't contact Alan's family because they would just get the headmaster involved and that wasn't what Alan wanted._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _As the weeks passed by, things got progressively worse for Alan. The sickness he'd experienced gradually got worse to where Alan was sick almost perpetually. Every time he saw Joey or Thomas, even going so far as to think about the torture they put him through had Alan running for the bathroom and Fermat felt like he was at the end of his rope._

" _A-Alan, maybe it's t-time to get the h-headmaster involved." Fermat suggested for what felt like the millionth time as he exited their shared bathroom with a damp hand towel in hand to give to Alan when he woke up and got sick in the trash can by the head of his bed. It was three in the morning and they had to be up for class in five hours._

" _No, I don't want him butting in." Alan said before he gagged behind his hand._

" _But Alan…y-you're getting worse a-and so is the b-bullying. Y-You're scaring me." Fermat said softly, handing the hand towel to Alan when the older boy pushed the can away with his foot. "I b-barely recognize y-you…y-you keep l-losing weight."_

" _You think I don't know that? I'm dealing with this the best way I can." Alan asked as he lifted his gaze to look sternly at his younger friend._

" _H-How? By keeping q-quiet? H-How is that dealing w-with it? Y-You're killing yourself by keeping quiet!" Fermat said, his eyes wide as he tried to get Alan to understand the gravity of his situation. "H-How long are y-you going t-to allow t-this to continue? A-Am I g-gonna have to lose my b-best friend?!"_

" _They'll stop eventually." Alan said, knowing that this whole episode had already been going on daily for the last month and a half._

" _I won't l-let this keep g-going. I'm going to t-the headmaster at f-first light." Fermat said, feeling like he should be the one to break the silence and help Alan if Alan wasn't willing to help himself._

" _If you get the headmaster involved, or tell my family about this…I won't be your friend anymore." Alan said, glaring at the younger boy with the most serious of looks he could manage. "I swear to god that if you speak of this to anyone, we're through."_

" _Alan…I'm t-trying to help you. W-Why can't you see it f-from my perspective?" Fermat asked, feeling scared for his friendship with Alan. "D-Do you think I e-enjoy waking u-up with you every n-night for the last few weeks to take c-care of you while y-you're sick? You're s-scaring the hell o-out of me!"_

" _I didn't ask for your help though? Did I?" Alan asked through a snarl before he whipped the damp hand towel across the room into the hamper. He stood up and used his height to try to intimidate the younger boy. "If I want your help, I'll ask for it!"_

 _Fermat wasn't afraid of Alan, knew the older boy was going for scare tactics to make him keep silent on the matter of bullying. But Fermat truly was afraid for his best friend. Alan's clothes hung off him now, Alan had to tighten his belt three holes and he started going through random dizzy spells because of his refusal to eat except when he knew Thomas and Joey wouldn't be there. Fermat worried that Alan wouldn't last much longer. He didn't know how Alan could think that he'd last as long as he was._

" _I p-promise." Fermat said, even though he felt like it was killing him to make such a promise to keep quiet. "I'll k-keep your s-secret."_

" _Thanks." Alan said before he coughed into his hand and groaning when it made his stomach ache. He moved back over to his bed and laid down, drawing his knees up to his chest. Turning his back to Fermat he closed his eyes in hopes that he could sleep without the nightmares plaguing him continuously._

 _Fermat stood by Alan's bed, wringing his hands in worry over both his best friend as well as the damning secret he'd just sworn to keep. He knew that what he was doing was wrong, but he did fear over Alan ending their friendship. He was scared of losing his best friend and he didn't long to lose the one person that apart from his father had meant the world to him._

" _Fermat, go to bed. I'm done talking." Alan said before he raised his hand over his head and tapped the base of the lamp by his bed, turning out the sole light in the dorm. Fermat was left in total darkness and he wondered if by trying to salvage his friendship, he'd just sentenced Alan to a fate…worse than death._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _The days that followed proved to be hell not only for Alan who was being picked on continuously by his peers and classmates, but for Fermat who questioned himself time and again if what he was doing was right. He knew it wasn't, had been raised to speak out about bullying and to stand up for those that couldn't or wouldn't do so willingly. But who was he to stand in the way of the bullies, surely, he'd become their next target and while he was no stranger to bullying, he didn't want to unleash the pack of rabid dogs that were his classmates on one so meek as himself either._

 _He found it hard to keep the secret Alan had sworn him to keep when Alan's family had called and Alan had snuck to the common room with a dollar bill Fermat had freely given so he could get a pop-tart from the vending machine. He swallowed deeply as he stared with fear in his eyes at those that had been like family since his mother died and he and his dad had moved to the island to join the Tracy family in solitude._

 _"Hey Fermat, is Alan around?" Scott had asked cheerfully if not a bit more than suspiciously at the fact that Alan had been neglecting to return video calls to his family since this whole thing started. Fermat answered every call for Alan, giving him a message that his family had called to speak with him but Alan would just say "later" and conveniently forget to return their calls._

 _"N-No, he's in the b-bath." Fermat said hoping that Alan stayed gone long enough that Fermat could end the video call and his brother would be none the wiser that Fermat had just told a bold face lie._

 _"Well, that's a shame. I was uh…calling to find out if you and he would be interested in coming to Lady Penelope's garden party. I'm just sure you two boys would just love being bored to tears right along with us." Scott said, purely hating attending Penelope's garden parties. It was a black suit and tie event and none of them could explore the grounds like they usually did, they had to mind their manners, and talk with the big names that mingled at the parties. Their dad usually did all the talking, sharing a brandy or a scotch on the rocks with a few of the other gentlemen, wooing the ladies and proving that while he was a widowed man raising five precocious boys he did have class as did his boys which was often displayed when Penelope would ask one of the boys for a dance and show off how bizarrely sophisticated the boys could prove to be._

 _"Um…n-no, we uh…h-have a t-thing….to s-study for yes…um a t-test. Yeah! A-A test. We h-have to s-study for a t-test." Fermat said hating how despite his typical stutter, he was showing how nervous he was. He could hear it in his own voice and he knew that if he could hear it, surely, Scott could too._

 _"Oh…are you sure? Dad has the syllabi for all of the classes you two are taking and nowhere is it highlighted that you have exams to sit for." Scott said, smelling something fishy but not knowing exactly what._

 _"Yeah, uh…our t-teacher was out s-sick the other d-day and…he w-wasn't able to g-give us our t-tests so they've b-been r-rescheduled." Fermat said, hoping Scott would take the bait and end the call._

 _"O-k…um…I guess since you two are busy…I'll just leave a message for Alan. Could you please make sure he calls me later? I've been dying to talk to him since the last break." Scott asked, hoping that Alan would call this time._

 _"Y-Yeah, I'll do that…um…t-talk to y-you later S-Scott. Bye." Fermat smiled ever so briefly before ending the connection and not a moment too soon. Alan practically fell in the door in his haste to make it to freedom with his spoils. Fermat turned to his friend who was skinnier now than ever before and wished Alan would just let him go to the headmaster so they could put a stop to all the bullying that hadn't seemed to let up in the near two months since it started. If Fermat was being honest with himself, it was escalating something fierce and Fermat feared that soon it'd be too much for even the headmaster to fight. "Alan, S-Scott called again."_

 _"What was it this time?" Alan asked as he sat on the floor, tearing into the packaging for the pop-tart and taking a bite like a starving man that hadn't had food in ages, which wasn't far from the truth. The satisfied moan from Alan didn't concern Fermat at all, it did worry him though. His friend had practically inhaled all there was to the pop-tart, going so far as to lick his fingers and upend the packaging over his mouth in hopes of catching every last morsel._

 _"Scott a-asked if you'd call h-him…a-again. T-This is g-g-going too f-far Alan, soon t-they're going to f-figure out something i-is up and they'll c-come here to see y-you. How a-are you g-going to hide f-from them w-when they're right o-outside that d-door?" Fermat asked as he gestured to the door to the hall outside their room._

 _"They won't think somethings up if you don't tell them anything. It's fine, they'll back off soon enough. If I don't give in, they'll move on to someone else and leave me be." Alan said before he drained dry the juice box he'd nabbed from the common room. "Please, don't say anything Fermat, please…I'm begging you. Don't tell anyone about the bullies. Not even your father. Nobody can know."_

 _Fermat hated when Alan begged, his older friend actually going down on bended knee to beg the young genius to remain silent. He knew it was the worst possible secret to ever keep, but he worried what would happen to his friendship, knew it couldn't be salvaged if Alan ended it. His friend was prideful and Fermat knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that pride would one day be his downfall._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _Fermat laid awake, hands over his ears to mask the sounds of Alan being sick. It just wouldn't stop. It'd been continuing for these last three months and Fermat was at his wits end. Alan was having continuous trouble staying awake when he wasn't getting sick, Fermat had snuck out during the week to buy Alan some new smaller pants that were consistent with dress code. Had watched his best friend practically turn to skin and bones. Could see his hip, rib and spinal bones protruding and it scared him._

 _He didn't know how much more of this he could take. His fingers itched to call one of Alan's brothers or his father on the COMM watch he'd been given and plead with them to just bring Alan home. Alan didn't deserve the continued abuse from his peers. He needed to be back home, where he was safe, where the words of the bullies could no longer haunt him. He continued to just lay there, heard Alan when he finally quit dry heaving and the lights went out. He rolled over in his bed and unplugged his ears and felt his heart break when he heard the whisper soft weeping across the room from his best friend. His mind made up, he was going to the headmaster come hell or high water and he was going to report the bullying that had been breaking his friend and turning him into just another statistic. Closing his eyes, he prayed that Alan could one day understand just why he'd broken his promise to keep the secret._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _Fermat swore he'd go to the headmaster after classes were over for the day, he hoped against hope that Alan would decide that he'd had enough and would report what was happening to him by himself. The rumors were getting worse, some spreading lies that Alan had developed bulimia, that he was moonlighting on a street corner and had developed a taste for drugs and sex. Fermat knew the lies were just that…lies, but it still disturbed him how much the rumors could progress. He'd heard a variety of lies over the past few months, that Alan was gay, that Alan had a sugar daddy in the city and was being pimped out for sex and drugs and possibly the most outlandish rumor to date that he was a girl that was masquerading around as a boy and that Alan or as the bullies started calling him Alana was pregnant. Fermat didn't know how anyone could believe those lies. He'd had just about enough by the end of the school day, had heard that Alan had skipped class again for the umpteenth time in a row and was headed back to the dorm to give Alan a piece of his mind. He didn't anticipate that he'd find his best friend laying down or that the room would be as quiet as it was._

 _He'd sat by for several long minutes, waiting for Alan to stir when he'd decided he'd had enough of waiting and had decided he'd wake Alan and drag his butt to the headmaster's so the man could see what the bullying was doing to Alan. His best friend probably weighed no more than 95 pounds soaking wet and Fermat knew that as of right now, he certainly weighed more than his best friend._

 _"Alan…Alan. Wake up!" Fermat said before going to Alan and giving him a shake. When Alan failed to stir, Fermat gave him another hard shake, raising his voice a little in hopes that it'd wake Alan. When his friend remained unresponsive, Fermat leaned over him and looked at his face, feeling more than a little frightened that his friend was almost gray. "Alan! Wake up! Wake up!"_

 _When Fermat's attempts to wake Alan continually failed, Fermat grew more and more frantic. Grabbing his best friend's shoulder, Fermat forcefully rolled the older boy from his side to his back and in doing so the blankets on Alan's bed moved to reveal a large blood stain. Fermat froze for a minute before he grabbed the blanket and ripped it off his friend and screamed in horror at the sight of the blood staining not only the bed, but Alan's clothing and both arms. He didn't remember screaming for help but he was soon yanked away from his best friend and pulled into the hall by the assistant hall director while the head hall director focused on smothering both Alan's arms in a stray t-shirt found on the floor in hopes that he could stop the blood._

 _Alan was soon whisked away to the hospital via ambulance and Fermat in all his panic called the island in hysterics. He'd explained a little bit, that Alan had been dealing with bullies, that he'd gotten sick and that Alan made him promise not to tell and then he'd apologized in tears for letting it go this far. He felt ashamed that Alan's family was taking it as well as they did going so far as to soothe him and comfort him when it was them that should be freaking out. It was their youngest family member that was on the way to the hospital. Fermat had kept Alan's secret and look what he'd done to his best friend. Some best friend he was, couldn't even properly protect his friend from his self-destructive path he'd led over these last three months._


	3. A Shadow of Himself

_**A/N: Wow, I must say that I am surprised at the reviews. I knew this story might be triggering for some, but I didn't anticipate there'd be quite a few that aren't unfamiliar with being bullied. I'm wholly against bullying, honestly I feel like schools fail the students when they don't do anything to stop the bullying that goes on. I realize bullying goes on in places outside of school also, but all the bullying I suffered was on school grounds and when the bullies were finally stopped...they were told that at most they'd be refused their high school diploma. Their punishment was two weeks suspension and the main bully who was a senior when I was a sophomore was told she'd be expelled if she continued. I on the other hand did withdraw much like I made Alan do in this story and I did give up talking unless directly spoken to. It's amazingly scary how damaging hurtful words and actions can be when said or done enough times and how devastating that can be for the individual(s) going through that.**_

 _ **On another note, I've never played a flute before though and am not sure if they can be played outside in the elements. Someone was playing a flute in the snow last year at the store that I used to work at when the Salvation Army was ringing their bells with their collection buckets so I can only assume.**_

 _ **I don't think I need to remind folks that reviews are more than welcomed...but if you don't have anything nice to say then keep your comments to yourself.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

 **PAST**

 _Scott sat outside Alan's bedroom back on the island, not being able to bring himself to go in to see his baby brother. He'd been near frantic when Fermat called though he'd been able to maintain the picture of calm despite the distressing news. His dad and Virgil had gotten home with Alan barely two hours earlier and Alan in all his silent musings had practically glided from the room and had retreated to his bedroom. No longer was Alan on suicide watch, even if he hadn't intended to cut as deeply as he had. He'd still used self-mutilation as a coping mechanism and it'd had disastrous results._

 _When they'd gotten to the hospital, only their dad was allowed in to see Alan immediately upon arrival. Even though the others were adult-age brothers, the hospital had restricted the number of people in to visit Alan. Eventually Virgil was allowed in, despite Scott being the oldest. The middle son had more knowledge of medical protocol and so doctors tended to trust him more when he knew what they were talking about._

 _Their dad and Virgil managed to talk to hospital staff to let Alan see each of his brothers for if only five minutes. Scott had never hated another person as much as he had the moment he'd set foot in Alan's hospital room. His kid brother was lying in a hospital gown that wrapped around like a kimono. Bandages wrapped around his arms up to his elbows and he was practically skin and bones. He wanted those bullies that had pushed his brother to this to know a fate worse than Alan experienced. He wasn't mad at Fermat, had understood through the frantic babbling of the thirteen-year-old that Alan had made him keep what he knew under wraps. Had been able to see through the jumbled stuttering mess of a terrified thirteen-year-old to know that Alan threatened him to keep his silence, so Fermat really hadn't had a choice._

 _No Scott wasn't mad at Fermat, he was furious at those boys that saw fit to pick on Alan relentlessly to the point that he felt like causing himself pain was a decent coping mechanism. He could hear Alan moving about in his room, kept wondering why he felt like he was at such a loss when it came to speaking to his baby brother. He'd never had trouble talking to him before. So why now was he experiencing a 'cat got your tongue' moment?_

 _Feeling like it was his responsibility to take one for the team, he gathered his courage which felt virtually non-existent and he stood to knock on his brother's door._

 _"Alan?" Scott asked as he knocked tentatively on the wooden barrier. When he didn't get a response, he knocked again – this time more firmly. When he still failed to get a response, he tried the doorknob and was exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding when the knob turned and allowed Scott to enter the room. He walked in and frowned when he saw the flute dismantled on Alan's bed. It was Alan's favorite instrument next to the guitar and Alan loved to test his lung capacity with playing when he was back home on the island. To see the marvelous instrument dismantled and not just for a cleaning tore at Scott's heart. "Hey kiddo, what's this?"_

 _Alan looked up before he looked back down, silent as a statue. Scott feeling like he needed to do something with his hands started trying to reassemble the flute. When he had it in proper working order, he handed it to Alan and gave him a hopeful grin. Usually Alan loved getting requests to play something on his flute, but to see the frown on his face made Scott's heart break anew._

 _"So…how about it? Want to play me a song?" Scott asked, hoping that Alan would begin to play something…anything. He didn't know if he could handle the kid remaining perpetually silent like he had been at the hospital. Alan looked at the flute before looking at Scott and shaking his head. "Please? I miss your music." Scott asked again, hoping Alan would do it at least to get his brother off his back._

 _When Alan looked again at the flute then at Scott, the older brother could clearly see what had Alan so hesitant. He was afraid of making noise. In all of Fermat's frantic ramblings, it'd been mentioned however briefly that Alan had been picked on for speaking when called on…Scott didn't know how far it'd gone on though because Fermat had clammed up._

 _All attempts Scott made of requesting that Alan play something…anything on his flute failed miserably and when Alan laid down with his back to Scott, the oldest knew when he was dismissed. Alan had ignored every attempt Scott made to try to coax Alan out of his little shell and that bothered Scott because he didn't know how he could possibly help Alan if he didn't let Scott try. The oldest stood up, looked down at his brother that was playing opossum and he leaned down to kiss his little brother's head._

" _I love you Alan…we all do and we want you to get better. Just…just know that we'll be here for you when you're ready to talk." Scott said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind Alan's ear and pulling his blankets up to his shoulders. Once his brother was sufficiently tucked in, Scott felt it was safe to back out of the room and let Alan sleep if that was what he'd so desired. He didn't stop kicking himself, hating that his baby brother that had never had a problem talking to him before couldn't even so much as open his mouth to tell him off. It was like Alan had given up speaking. Had taken a vow of silence that he never intended to break._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _It was days before Alan had to be physically dragged from his room to have dinner with the rest of the family. Gordon and Virgil had both wheedled Alan out of his room, Gordon pushing his brother while Virgil tugged on his shirt. The youngest didn't vocalize his disapproval over the situation like they'd hoped he would and the youngest two boys couldn't look at each other. Fermat and Alan were sat next to each other and neither of them could so much as look each other in the eye. It was maddening._

" _Alan, dad was wondering if you and Fermat wanted to have control over the video lounge this evening for your weekend movie mania that you two like to do every summer?" Scott asked in hopes that Alan would say something, but his little brother moved his mouth as though he was speaking but pure silence was his voice._

" _He d-doesn't want t-to." Fermat said, having read Alan's lips without directly looking at him. It hurt to know the older boy didn't want to have their weekend movie mania, but he could understand. Alan didn't want anything to do with him after he'd broken his silence, getting not only his family involved, but the headmaster, the dean of education and a whole slew of people that had no business in meddling in Alan's affairs._

" _Alan?" Gordon asked hoping Alan would say something to him._

 _Alan offered a wordless shrug before he played with his forkful of spaghetti. He ate a few bites, but soon pushed his plate of food away and looked at his dad pleadingly before his dad excused him from the table. The youngest went to his room upstairs and soon the family heard a haunting melody floating on the air._

" _Well, he's finally playing the flute." Virgil murmured as he ate his dinner, thoughtfully chewing as he tried to decipher his little brother's feelings through the song he'd chosen. He didn't recognize the song that Alan was playing, hadn't even known how to distinguish certain songs played by a different instrument._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _The following morning found the Tracy brothers serenaded by another song, this time the location being from the beach. Gordon didn't know how Alan could stand being out there in the rain, he'd grabbed a raincoat and an umbrella and made his way out to the beach where he found his little brother sitting beneath a tree and playing the flute as if the rain wasn't bothering him in the slightest. Though Gordon knew Alan hated storms and abhorred water simply for being wet. He walked up behind Alan and held the umbrella over his head, letting the rain soak his own head before he brought his hood up._

 _Alan stopped playing the flute for a few minutes to look up at his brother before offering a brief smile which fell away seconds after it graced his young face. He looked off in the distance after a few moments and Gordon wondered just what was going through Alan's head at the moment. He was taken by surprise when Alan seemed to grow sad after a few minutes without playing the flute._

" _What's up Alan?" Gordon asked as he squatted down beside Alan. "Are you doing okay?"_

 _Alan shrugged wordlessly before he was taken by surprise by Gordon's unexpected affection in the form of a hug. He stiffened up before he relaxed and returned the hug._

" _I don't know what happened to you at that blasted school, but just know that if you ever want to talk about it…I'm here. Day, night...anytime. I know I'm not the best conversationalist, but you know I'm good at listening." Gordon said as he pulled away from Alan to look at him closely. He couldn't stop his gaze from wandering to Alan's wrists, the bandages that were still wound tightly to keep Alan from scratching at the healing wounds. "Onaha was just putting breakfast on the table when I came down here. Did you want to come up and grab a bite?"_

 _Alan looked as though he wanted to refuse, but soon his stomach spoke for him and Gordon smiled at the rumbling growl._

" _Come on kiddo, Onaha's got a bowl of fruit with your name on it." Gordon said as he helped his little brother up and shared the umbrella with him while they made their way up to the villa._

 _With Alan's admittance to the hospital prior to his return to the island he and Virgil and their father had met with a dietician who set up a special diet to help Alan gain weight in a healthy way. One of the breakfast foods that Alan's dietician suggested were fruit since Jeff and Virgil mentioned Alan never cared for eating breakfast. He was never hungry in the morning and so would usually have a piece of toast or a bagel. His dietician wanted him to eat several small meals throughout the day instead of three portioned meals that may be too much for Alan to consume since he'd had a poor diet for the last three months._

 _When they reached the villa, Onaha fussed over Alan for a few moments before she took his flute and set it on the counter and gently pushed Alan to sit at the table with the other island inhabitants. They all dug in once everyone was seated. Alan slowly ate his fruit, staring self-consciously at his bowl of fruit._

 _He felt embarrassed to be eating around anyone. One of the reasons he gave up eating in the cafeteria was the cruel things said to him aside from having food and milk dumped over his head. He was a teenage boy who was incredibly body conscious. He was short for a fifteen-year-old with long arms, huge feet, pimples and braces. He'd lost his retainer when he was fourteen and failed to mention it to his dad and orthodontist so he got put back in braces when his teeth shifted._

' _ **Eating again Tracy? You're going to become a blimp!'**_

 _Alan slowed his chewing as the voices that ridiculed him echoed in his head._

' _ **Watch out, the Tracy rhino is coming for more food!'**_

' _ **I don't know where he puts it, the kid must be more like a cow than we thought, you know cows have an extra stomach right?'**_

' _ **Moo!'**_

' _ **Oh, I'm sorry, I thought all that fat would have cushioned your fall.'**_

 _With the words that continually echoed in his head, Alan quickly found his appetite dwindling and a sick feeling forming in the pit of his stomach._

" _Hey Al, are you okay? You just became really green all of a sudden." Scott asked as he noticed his brother quit eating and his eyes grow wider every second that passed. Since he was seated beside Alan, he turned to Alan and managed to break him out of his thoughts but not before Alan ran from the table. Scott followed Alan into the hall and he was there when Alan collapsed in tears. The teenaged boy was gripping the sides of his head, eyes squeezed tightly shut and was hyperventilating. Scott managed to catch Alan and safely lower him to the ground before he knelt with his brother and comforted him. "Ssh, it's okay. You're okay. Come on, calm down. You're okay…ssh."_

" _Scott is he okay?" Virgil asked as he leaned around the door frame to look at his brothers. Scott didn't want there to be an audience to Alan's meltdown so he waved Virgil away. When they were alone, Scott hugged Alan a little tighter and shifted so his baby brother was practically in his lap. It took Alan a little while to calm down but when he did, he listlessly leaned against Scott who was rubbing his back and murmuring softly that he wouldn't let anyone else hurt Alan._

… … … … … … … … … …

 _Gordon waited worriedly outside the bathroom, he'd already called Virgil when he heard his little brother yakking. Alan had been fine when they'd been watching TV until some guy came on the screen and started being condescending to a character in the show, insulting her weight and how she looked. When the jerk character started with the insults Alan had practically flown from the room with Gordon on his heels, but the red head hadn't been quick enough to avoid the bathroom door being slammed in his face. He'd called Virgil on his watch when Alan had begun retching and the redhead stayed outside waiting for Alan, as patiently as he could. It was all he could do at present._

 _When Alan finally opened the door, he wasn't expecting Gordon to practically be camped outside. He was quickly enveloped in a comforting embrace from the redhead and he was hesitant to return the embrace but he had to admit it felt nice._

" _Come on kiddo, Virgil's asking to see you." Gordon said, leading his little brother to their brother's bedroom. When they made it there, Virgil gestured for them both to come in and he sat down on his computer chair in front of his brother to eye him critically. Alan was still too skinny and Virgil felt like they'd soon need to get professional help if Alan didn't begin getting better._

" _You threw up again huh?" Virgil asked as he scooted his chair closer to check his brother for fever and feeling his lymph nodes in his neck. "Can you tell me what caused it?"_

 _Alan gave a mute shrug and it really made Virgil upset that Alan wouldn't speak. He wasn't around the bullies anymore, so why should he stay so quiet?_

" _Alan, please talk to me. I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong." Virgil tried again, going for the same song and dance that he'd been trying ever since Alan returned home. When Alan gave another shrug, it was Gordon's turn to try to translate. He'd been able to read Alan's body language since they were little, so he knew a little of what Alan was saying just by facial cues._

" _I don't think even he knows what caused it." Gordon said, he was taken by surprise by Alan's gesture that he was right._

" _Okay, let's try you then. What was going on when Alan got sick?" Virgil asked, looking at his younger brother with a raised eyebrow._

" _We were watching a movie." Gordon said before he got quiet. "I…I think the character picking on the girl triggered it. He was calling her fat and other horrible names when Alan ran off."_

" _Okay, so I know you guys aren't going to like this, but for the time being I don't want either of you watching movies or shows like that. At least not until Alan gets better." Virgil said softly watching both his brother's faces fall. It didn't seem fair to either brother, but they knew that Virgil was making that decision for Alan's good. If there wasn't material that was making Alan uncomfortable or reminding him of what he'd gone through then Virgil hoped he'd begin to get better. "I'll let dad know so he knows."_

 _At the looks on his brother's faces Virgil offered a sad smile. "Oh, come on now, it's not forever. Just until you get better Alan."_

 _Alan offered a wordless shrug but suddenly the klaxon went off and Gordon and Virgil who were both loathe to leave Alan ran for their dad's office after a moment's hesitation._

 _… … … … … … …_

 _Virgil huffed to himself as he helped to guide the people rescued from the burning building out of the rescue basket. That was the last of them. He wondered about the cat that one of the old ladies kept crying about, hoping that the poor thing could escape with zero harm. He was beyond surprised when he returned to the rescue basket and discovered a long tail hiding beneath the switchboard that had been designed into the rescue basket so it could be lowered manually without the pilot having to leave the cockpit to run the controls._

 _Getting down on his knees, Virgil reached under the switchboard and grasped the cat's scruff before he pulled her out. She was severely displeased with Virgil, but he wasn't content to keep a cat that had a severely distended stomach which even Virgil could tell meant she was pregnant. He ventured out of the rescue basket and found the old woman who was still sobbing mournfully over her cat. Walking up to her, Virgil got her attention and soon found that old woman or not she can run to him when she saw her beloved cat._

" _Thank you! Oh my god, thank you." The old woman managed to hug Virgil tightly after he'd returned her spooked cat. Unknowingly, he returned to the rescue basket and the woman didn't elaborate on more than one cat missing. If he'd known there was more than one cat he'd have looked for the other cat that he'd later discovered when he was cleaning the rescue basket back on the island and the kitten had been discovered. A quick glance at his watch told Virgil that his family would soon be turning in. He gently cradled the kitten in his arms, deciding he could finish cleaning up after he gave the kitten to his dad to decide how to get it back to land._

" _We'll have to figure out a way to get you back home." Virgil said softly, stroking the kitten behind its ear and listening to it purr._

 _With that he ventured up into the villa from Thunderbird Two's silo and he kept whispering to the kitten and listening to it purr. He was more than a little surprised when he entered the main hallway and the kitten became feisty and jumped from his arms. He ran after the kitten when it darted off down the darkened hall and managed to follow it into his baby brother's bedroom._

" _Shoot!" Virgil hissed before he took off in a jog after the kitten and turned on his cell phone flashlight so he could see where the kitten went. He could hear Alan groaning in his sleep and when he shone his flashlight at Alan's bed he saw the kitten nuzzling Alan's cheek and neck which was surprisingly calming Alan down. Virgil watched for several long minutes until Alan was unusually calm and sleeping peacefully. It was then that the kitten had felt like her job was done and she gave a small stretch before she climbed onto Alan's pillow and went to sleep on top of Alan's head nestled comfortably in his blonde hair. Virgil couldn't bring himself to remove the small creature when it'd proven to him that it could calm Alan when normally if he or any of the rest of the family tried waking him from a nightmare, he woke up swinging._


	4. Recovery Period

_**A/N: This chapter was intended to be the last...but I kinda wanted to make the bullies pay for the things they did to Alan. Those that bullied me never got a proper punishment - not what I'd deem to be proper anyway. It may be mean spirited of me, but I wanted them to get payback and like Virgil was thinking I think in the first chapter. Karma is a bi*ch. If you're reading this and you have something in mind, drop me a line otherwise I think I might let Parker and Penelope exact revenge, though I'd appreciate your feedback.**_

 _ **Reviews appreciated, though I don't think I need to remind y'all that if you can't say anything nice then keep your comments to yourself.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

Alan got up from his bed, having gone to lay down after talking with Virgil. He felt surprisingly better after talking with his brother and learning that he wasn't alone. He never knew about Virgil having been bullied, wondered if any of his other brothers had been picked on or if it was just him and Virgil. Didn't mean he was prepared to go ask any of them. Alan noticed the villa was silent and he wondered where everyone had gone, if they'd gone on a rescue after accidently taking an hour-long nap with Sheba.

The furless kitten had become a near constant extension of Alan, sitting in his lap when he sat down to dinner with his family even. She was usually content to have Alan rubbing between her ears.

When Alan wandered through the villa, he noticed his family was nowhere in the vicinity and when he went to his dad's office he learned why. They'd been called out on a rescue and Brains was running command central, so that meant that his whole family had gone out. Seeing Brains meant seeing Fermat also though. The younger genius wouldn't meet Alan's gaze and Alan briefly wondered why. He wasn't mad at Fermat, knew he'd kept his secret up until the last possible minute before calling for help when Alan wouldn't wake up. Fermat was the one staying away from Alan and the older boy was missing his best friend. Their bedrooms in the villa were next to each other and Alan felt like Fermat had gone away. He rarely saw his friend and he had looked for the younger boy several times a day.

Taking the initiative, Alan quietly asked Fermat if he could talk with him privately. Fermat hesitated but his dad nudged him in the ribs to go. He knew Alan wouldn't have approached Fermat to talk if he was mad. He's known Alan since he was a little tyke and Alan's typical angered outbursts were loud and explosive. Even this new Alan still seemed to carry the same tics.

When Fermat stood to follow Alan, the older boy led his younger friend to the upstairs library. Alan, Fermat and Tin-Tin affectionately called the room the "crow's nest" because it was the only room in the highest part of the villa. Most families hid their junk in the attic, their household on the other hand acquired books, movies, video games and other various material.

"W-What did you want t-to talk about?" Fermat asked as he crossed his arms and leveled his most serious look at his friend.

"I'm sorry…I…I'm sorry for making you feel like I was mad at you. I…I actually wanted to thank you for going against my wishes and calling my dad and brothers. I…I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for you." Alan said, his voice incredibly soft as he apologized to Fermat. "I hope one day I can make it up to you."

"Y-You had me worried A-Alan. You're m-my best f-friend, when w-we were little y-you made me p-pinky swear that we'd a-always be friends…n-no matter w-what. Why w-would you t-threaten our friendship o-over a couple of w-worthless bullies?" Fermat asked. He crossed his arms over his chest as he stared hard at his friend, questioning the sincerity of Alan's apology and wondering if their friendship could withstand further upheaval or if they'd do better to call it quits.

"Fermat…I was embarrassed. I was being called a fag and queer, I had another boy ask me out on a date…when have you ever known me to be backed into a corner and shy away from conflict? Normally I get backed into a corner and before long I'm delivering knuckle sandwiches to those cornering me. I was scared." Alan said, trying to get Fermat to understand that this wasn't normal for him and he was bound to lash out at anyone he perceived as a threat. Didn't matter if it was friend, family or foe.

"I'm y-your best friend A-Alan! I thought y-you could t-trust me!" Fermat said, hurt beyond belief that Alan couldn't trust him enough to ask him for help.

"When have you ever known me to ask for help Fermat? I'm too proud to ask for help, I'm supposed to be the guy who everybody likes, I'm the kid who is nice to everybody and everyone's friend. I'm not supposed to fall victim to bullies. I'm not supposed to be picked on. I'm not supposed to be made to feel inferior. I'm Alan freaking Tracy, I'm one of the children of the famed Jeff Tracy. I'm the son of a guy regarded as a famous American pioneer in the Aeronautics program. Everyone wants to be Jeff Tracy and a lot of the boys we used to go to school with always said 'I wish I had your life. I wish I was you. I wish I was Jeff Tracy's son. You're so lucky to be Jeff Tracy's son.' I must uphold such an image being a famous guys son that I can't afford to be made a mockery of. You've seen the tabloids. Every single time one of my brothers does something stupid or goes out to party with their friends on the mainland and are seen by the paparazzi, their faces, names and story gets smeared all over the front cover and my dad must do damage control for yet another one of his sons. I don't want to be on every cover of a magazine spread, having the world question my sexual preferences. I like girls damnit and I don't like being asked again and again if I want to be screwed by a guy or how I like it best. I don't like bullies getting in my face to ask me if I like dick or vagina and I don't like them making lewd gestures or implications that I am one day going to be some guy's bitch. So, do you blame me for not wanting you to get involved?" Alan vented before looking at Fermat expectantly only to see his best friend standing before him with his arms crossed over his chest.

"A-Are you f-finished?" Fermat questioned, glad that for now Alan had finished his spiel. Although this was the most in probably months that Alan had spoken more than a two or three-word sentence, or answered with a shrug. So, Fermat was impressed and he felt like he had a little bit of his old best friend back. Alan had gotten progressively louder until he was communicating at regular volume. He wasn't shouting or whining, but simply explaining why he felt unable to ask for help. Fermat understood that Alan was under a lot of pressure from the paparazzi and being in his brother's shadows. The world was waiting for each of the famed sons of Jeff Tracy to slip up again or to run their mouth after becoming intoxicated and after Scott, John and Virgil meeting those standards, Jeff had set a precedent that Gordon and Alan were forced to obey.

Scott, when he was seventeen had a girlfriend who falsely claimed that she was pregnant simply because her parents were strict in her upbringing. She thought that if she 'cried wolf' that her parents would demand that Scott marry their daughter and she'd inherit not only fame but fortune and Scott didn't hesitate to ask for a pregnancy test from a doctor and then it was found out it was a false claim. That was actually the time that Jeff had imposed the "no sex until marriage" rule in their household.

John had gotten hammered at a summertime kegger and got busted by the police when he was eighteen and brought home by the cops. The paparazzi was practically drooling over the chance to get pictures of an inebriated John and even being covered in teenage binge drinking vomit had been worth the picture to some of the photographers striving for the picture that would make the big bucks.

Virgil began skipping school and it was found out that he had taken up smoking weed and cigarettes with the other 'bad kids' when he started to embrace his 'inner bad boy', which as Alan learned was Virgil's escape from bullying like Alan had experienced. Gordon had yet to do anything inherently bad for the paparazzi, although he was plastered all over the tabloids after his hydrofoil accident, so that was bad enough to Alan.

The youngest son was glad that the school protected their students as well as they did because so far the media had yet to hear about Alan's time in the hospital and subsequent suicide watch after his wrist cutting stunt. The rumor mill was running strong though and people were already talking amongst themselves about why Alan had been removed from such an influential school. His dad made sure to ensure the silence of all those involved so that his youngest child's future wouldn't be ruined because of his actions.

"L-Look, I get w-why you didn't w-want to ask me f-for help, but you s-should have let me g-go to the dean t-to report what was going o-on with you. You're m-my best friend a-and I hated to s-see you like t-that. It w-was scary and I d-don't want to s-see that a-again." Fermat said, hoping he got through to his best friend better than he did while they were at school.

"I was embarrassed! What were you planning to tell the dean when you did talk to him? 'Hi, I'm Fermat, I'd like to report that my best friend is being called a queer by bullies and he's too much of a coward to come forward about it?' That would have gone over very well." Alan said rhetorically.

"Y-You should k-know me b-better than t-that Alan…y-you know I'd n-never call you a q-queer and I w-would never t-tell the dean that e-either. I'd h-have told h-him that m-my roommate is being b-bullied and I'd h-have turned in those d-doing the bullying." Fermat said, trying still to get Alan to understand that he had had no intentions to do anything that would be detrimental.

"I know you'd never refer to me using derogatory language, but I know that's exactly what the bullies would have called me immediately after you turned them in for harassment." Alan said.

"I'm n-not one of t-them…You k-n-now I could n-never make s-someone feel inferior l-like they m-made you feel. I k-know what it's l-like to be b-bullied, unless y-you've forgotten." Fermat said, referring to a bit of a darker time for himself too. That however was another story for another time. They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and they both looked over to see Tin-Tin. She smiled at them before inclining her head to indicate that she wanted them to follow her.

When Alan and Fermat exited the library, Alan was joined exclusively by Sheba who had used her claws to climb up his cargo shorts until she was perching on his shoulder like a parrot. Alan was soothed by her purring and nuzzles and he smiled at two of his next closest friends. Tin-Tin led Alan and Fermat outside, taking them across the island to the treehouse that Alan's brothers helped them build when they had just moved to the island. They climbed into the treehouse and closed the trap door.

"I asked our parents if we could hang out here for the evening and relax. Alan, your family thinks they might be back in time for breakfast tomorrow. My mom and dad were content to have dinner together and Fermat, your dad said he'd eat later but that you had his permission to come hang out here. I was hoping we could do this for old times' sake." Tin-Tin said as she reached into a picnic basket that she must have stashed there previously to retrieve a variety of board games, a deck of cards, magazines and a can of cat food for Sheba. "Feel like indulging me?"

"Yeah." Fermat said with a smile.

"Absolutely, thanks Tin-Tin." Alan said, smiling brightly for maybe the second or third time since the bullying began. The smile reached his eyes this time and it was something the friends had sorely missed about their older friend. It wasn't finished yet, not by far…but it was a step in the right direction. This was just the tip of the iceberg.

 _… … … … … … …_

Gordon sat in his co-pilot's seat after several long hours on a rescue. He wiped his brow on the sleeve of his jumpsuit with a sigh. He looked across at his brother John, Virgil and his dad with a critical eye, thinking seriously about his little brother and his situation. He wondered what their dad might do besides pulling Alan and Fermat out of the school system after they'd failed to protect Alan. He didn't think that removing Alan from the school was punishment enough to the school. They needed to be hit where it hurt so they'd learn that this couldn't happen again to another student. Gordon wondered what their dad had up his sleeve and knew from the multitudes of phone calls his dad was about to blow the school out of the water.

 _… … … … … … …_

Jeff grimaced with a smart cocking of his head when he heard from a friend of his that was on the Board of Education. Jeff had friends in high places and some of those friends owed Jeff a favor or two. Those favors involving the school that failed to protect his son and used the money he'd donated for padding the wallets of those faculty members that did nothing to perform their jobs adequately.

His friend had heard through the grapevine that over two dozen students had been removed from the school and with the removal of those students came the removal of the money that would have been donated to aid the school with any repairs or otherwise improvements. The school had already been making plans on what to do with the money that was to be donated to them but now there is nothing and they were scrambling to figure out what to do. Jeff wasn't sorry, most of the money was coming from him that Jeff decided could be donated to the Anti-Bully fund instead. It'd be put to better use anyway. At this rate, he'd rather not provide any monetary funds to the school that let Alan's health deteriorate nor protect and stand behind Alan's bullies. He wanted to make them pay. And pay they would. Jeff would not let them slide without punishment.

If the school had done a batter job at protecting his son, Jeff wouldn't have called in those favors to encourage a few other parents to withdraw their children from the school and to enroll them in a new school that enforced the anti-bully policy that they claimed to enforce. Jeff knew though from Fermat and Alan that the teachers didn't care when they saw the students being bullied. Jeff remembered his own school that he attended. If you were caught bullying another student or it was found that you were abusing fellow students, there were consequences.

Jeff himself never picked on another student, he was one of those few that was friends with everyone. Sure, he'd been teased when he was a kid because he was the shortest amongst his fellow classmates, but as soon as summer vacation of his freshman year occurred Jeff had shot up like a weed and had packed on a lot of muscle when he'd been helping his dad in the field and bucking hay. He'd become the Adonis of his class and was the apple of all the girl's eyes. A lot of the boys followed Jeff around in hopes that they'd manage to catch the eye of a girl that wasn't getting the attention of Jeff. Yeah, Jeff never bullied any of his fellow students. But he knew of others that did and if they were caught, they never lasted long. It was never quite clear what exactly happened to the students that were caught, but it was safe to assume they were expelled or sent off to an alternative school program that would focus on educating students against bullying.

 _… … … … … … …_

Alan laughed loudly at Tin-Tin when they played Pictionary. Fermat was hiding behind his hands as he too laughed at Tin-Tin attempting to draw something that looked like a cross between a fish and a bicycle. They all were laughing raucously and for Alan it was probably one of the best times of his life in what felt like forever.

Alan couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard or smiled so much. It felt amazing. He was indulging in a slice of Onaha's famous – at least in their household – chocolate cream silk pie topped with homemade whipped cream and shaved chocolate. When they were building the tree house, they'd designed it with a room so they could change clothes if necessary and now Alan, Fermat and Tin-Tin were dressed in their pajamas. It took Alan a few moments alone with Tin-Tin talking to him to get him to come out of the side room dressed in pajama shorts instead of the long baggy shirts and sleep pants. He'd grown incredibly self-conscious as he lost the weight and consequently started to regain the weight.

He was now laying on his stomach, dipping the tip of his fingertip in the whipped cream on his slice of chocolate cream silk pie before licking his fingertip clean. Fermat was eating a handful of pretzels between laughing and trying to guess what Tin-Tin was drawing. Tin-Tin was crying she was laughing so hard and Alan, he was another story. His face was bright red and laughing deep belly laughs. Sheba was perched on Alan's shoulder, resting against the back of his head and watching his pie with keen interest. Alan seemed to sense what Sheba was looking at and he dipped his fingertip into a bit of whipped cream before holding his hand up for Sheba to lick.

 _… … … … … … …_

It was late into the next morning when the Thunderbird crafts landed in their hangars on Tracy Island. The family could see from the deck patio, the tree house that was lit up with the solar lights that Jeff and Brains rigged up for the kids. Brains met the family on the deck patio before he smiled in the direction of the tree house.

"T-The kids seem t-to be enjoying t-themselves." Brains could hear the kids laughing from where he stood and he felt more at ease knowing that Alan and Fermat seemed to have put aside whatever difference they might have had to spend time with the other member of their trio and to just be kids again.

"It would appear so." Jeff said before deciding that a shower was in order. Not only for himself but for his four other sons also. "I'm going to go get a shower."

"Me too." Scott replied before he entered the house while unzipping his flight suit.

"That makes three of us." John said, relieved to be in on some of the action on Earth rather than to be stuck on the sidelines while up in Thunderbird 5.

"Same here." Virgil said before he took off the same as Scott and made a b-line for his room so he could bathe and maybe catch a bit of sleep before their next rescue.

"Ditto." Gordon said before making his way to his room same as the rest of his family. Brains however took a seat on the deck patio, still facing the tree house. He found a bit of relief in listening to Alan, Tin-Tin and Fermat laughing. He himself had been terrified when Fermat called in tears over not being able to awaken Alan. The Tracy family was more than employers to Brains, they were like family to him and his son.

Brains could remember the first conversation he'd ever had with Jeff and the older widower had extended a condolence card to Brains after Fermat's mother had perished in an unfortunate accident at a chemical laboratory. They hadn't yet begun working together, but they had been assigned to work together after the laboratory that was employing Brains had scheduled a meeting with Jeff. It was their first meeting that allowed them to work together but made it possible for them to be even greater friends.

Brains who had become a recent widower himself had nobody to watch his toddler and had called Jeff's office to reschedule. Jeff had answered the call as he'd excused his secretary for the day and had all the calls rerouted to his desk. He'd spoken to Brains and when the genius explained his problem, he'd suggestion Brains bring his toddler and Jeff would bring his youngest to play with Brains son and keep him entertained. It was history from there.

After several long minutes, Brains noticed the laughter had tapered off until all was silent. Brains picked up a lantern and turned it on before deciding to walk down to the treehouse to check on the kids and make sure they were okay. It took him several minutes to reach the treehouse and he carefully climbed up to the trapdoor before peeking in at the kids.

The three teens were laying near each other, all of them sleeping soundly. Brains smiled at them. Alan was still looking rough after the bullying, but he was looking considerably healthier than he had when he'd been admitted to the hospital initially. His skin had slowly been regaining the sun-kissed color, losing the waxy and sallow color his skin had taken on. With the special diet prescribed by the dietician and the watchful eye of the island inhabitants as well as the delectable food made by Onaha and Kyrano, Alan was steadily gaining weight again. Brains and Virgil both gave Alan weekly checkups to make sure he was meeting his weekly goals for weight gain.

Brains knew Alan wouldn't bounce back from his ordeal quickly. Knew it'd take time until Alan could be considered 'healthy' again. But when he did, Brains knew Alan would be a stronger person.


	5. Angry

_**A/N: Hello to you all that read, reviewed, liked and favorited this story. This is the last chapter of this short story. I hope you all enjoyed this story and I'm sorry to those of you that may have had difficulty reading this story due to the material. I was having a hard time writing this story as all the things that I incorporated happened to me. It may seem unrealistic to some, others may ask how a school could allow students to get off scot free when they are responsible for a student's safety. I don't have all the answers, I wish I did. Many of those I knew in school I've known since pre-K and most of them tried to protect me from the bullies, but unfortunately my school really did have cutbacks and my teacher had to split her time between acting as a librarian and being present in my class. We also had unsupervised lunch, so it made it really easy for the bullies to attack me every chance they got. The only thing I didn't do was incorporate my brother's protective nature in the story by making Alan's brothers unleash a can of Tracy whoop ass on the bullies. I wanted to make Penelope and Parker be mean to the bullies also but after giving it some thought knew I couldn't do that. Two wrongs don't make a right and having adult characters causing pain to a bunch of teenagers is lower in my eyes than the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. Best to take the high road, so I did what I did with this story.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoy this last chapter and I don't think I need to remind folks that reviews are appreciated but condescending remarks and hateful things are not welcome. If you don't like, don't read. All mistakes are mine.**_

 _ **Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010**_

* * *

Alan awoke suddenly, dripping in a cold sweat. Sitting up hurriedly, Alan gasped. He could have sworn he was back there. A cursory glance around his surroundings told Alan he wasn't there. He was in his room back on the island. Feeling warm but smooth skin rubbing against his leg, Alan was quick to hold his breathe. It wasn't until Sheba crawled out from under his blanket that Alan relaxed.

"It's okay. It was just a bad dream." Alan whispered to himself even as Sheba curled up beside his head and proceeded to nuzzle his cheek with a rumbling purr. "Thank you, Sheba."

Sheba sat back after a few moments of nuzzling and gazed at Alan with her large green eyes. Alan looked back at her, meeting her gaze. Alan raised his hand and stroked his hand over her smooth skin. He played with one of the many wrinkles that covered her body and watched as she closed her eyes in contentment. It made Alan smile once more. He considered himself lucky that his dad let him have Sheba.

Alan had been asking for a pet since he was old enough to know that animals could be pets. And every time he'd ask for a puppy or kitten for his birthday his dad would shake his head. Every night that he knelt by his bed to say his prayers with his dad overseeing, he'd ask God for a puppy or kitten and his dad would comment that God didn't deliver pets like that. Every Christmas wish list that Alan wrote to Santa Clause always had a puppy or kitten and the supplies needed to care for them written down. Alan had never given up asking until he turned ten. After his tenth birthday yielded a stuffed puppy from his father's receptionist but not a real puppy or kitten, Alan had thrown in the towel and quit asking.

That was also when he quit writing a wish list to Santa Clause. He knew Santa couldn't possibly exist and for the next five years, he blew off writing to Santa when his dad playfully suggested it. Now though, Alan wondered what he'd done to deserve getting Sheba.

Already Alan had had her for a little over a month. She was training easier than he thought and she was keen to snuggle. Alan couldn't believe his luck when it came to acquiring Sheba.

"Are you my good girl?" Alan whispered quietly to the kitten who meowed back as if to reply. "Yes you are."

"Alan?" Alan's bedroom door opened and the light from the hall lit up his bedroom. Alan couldn't see who was at his door, but the voice told him it was his father.

"Dad?" Alan whispered in reply before his dad turned the dial on the wall to raise the light slowly in Alan's room to a dim setting.

"What are you doing up son?" Jeff asked as he entered Alan's room before taking a seat on the side of Alan's bed. "Are you sleeping okay?"

Alan shrugged at that but he knew his dad wouldn't let that slide. Releasing the breath he was holding Alan decided to be honest with his dad.

"I had another nightmare." Alan replied softly, his voice telling Jeff that he was ashamed to admit having nightmares, but that they were preventing him from sleeping.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jeff asked. He doubted Alan would want to talk about his nightmares, but it didn't hurt to offer to be a listening ear.

"No…I'm afraid it'll make me…you know." Alan said before sinking down in his bedding.

"Do you want me to stay with you until you go back to sleep?" Jeff inquired as he looked at his own clothes. He'd gotten up to check on his sons and Alan was his last stop before returning to his bed.

"If you don't mind." Alan replied, looking more than relieved to not be alone for the time being.

"I don't mind one bit." Jeff said before changing positions so that he was leaned back against the head of Alan's bed. "You comfy?"

"As comfy as I'll get I suppose." Alan said before he lifted his blanket a little so that Sheba could crawl in with him. "Hey dad?"

"Yes Alan?" Jeff asked even as he started to run his fingers through Alan's hair. Alan's eyes began to droop with every stroke.

"What's gonna happen…you know with the bullies?" Alan didn't want to know in all honesty. But he did wonder if they'd get away with the things they did to him or if they'd ever know the consequence of what they did.

"I don't know Alan…I wish I could say confidently that I knew what would happen to them. But if I'm being honest…I don't know." Jeff whispered even as he looked down at his youngest, feeling like he failed him by not protecting him better. "I wish I could make everything better, but I can't. My money can buy a lot of things, but unfortunately it can't buy everything."

"It's not your fault dad…I don't blame you." Alan murmured even as his eyes dipped closed. Jeff stayed for a few minutes longer before leaning down to kiss Alan's forehead. Once he'd stood from Alan's bed, he turned to tuck him in like he used to when he was a small child. He gently ran a finger over Sheba's head with a smile before turning to leave Alan's room. He left the light dimly lit, regressing back to when Alan was a small child. He used to leave Alan's bedroom light on when he was small because it seemed to help Alan's nightmares stay away. He wished there was something more he could do to help Alan. But as he whispered to Alan a few minutes prior, there was only so much his money could buy and unfortunately this wasn't something his money could fix.

 _… … … … … … …_

Parker was out in the garden behind Lady Penelope's estate. He'd grown frustrated the more his lady talked to Mr. Tracy. He was legitimately angry that the young master Alan had been accosted by those worthless excuses for human beings. The boy had at one time been under Parker's wing and the chauffer felt like it was his duty to the young master that he step in and exact revenge in the name of justice. He just didn't know quite how he'd do that without his lady's permission.

He heaved a sigh when he heard the bell jingle signaling that his lady was requesting his presence. Setting aside the plant pots he was holding, Parker removed his gardening gloves to go to his lady's side. Imagine his surprise when he got up to his lady's quarters to find her dressed all in black.

"My lady?" Parker asked, surprised at his lady's attire. Normally she wore all pink, but she looked like she was dressed for a funeral. "Is something the matter?"

"Parker, go get changed. We've got a mission that is in desperate need of your skill." Lady Penelope said as she checked her little pocket for her laser lipstick tube. Parker did wonder what his lady had up her sleeve, but knew better than to question her further. She'd explain when she saw fit.

"Yes m'lady." Parker said before leaving to change his attire.

When Parker returned after changing into clothes that matched his lady's in color he was given direct orders to bring the car around which he did without question. Soon the car was airborne, and the duo were making a fast track to the mainland. Lady Penelope gave a brief explanation of what they were doing in the dark of night and why they were wearing such drab colors.

The plan was, and Parker had been given pictures of the boys he was to apprehend from their beds. Lady Penelope on the other hand was going to retrieve the girl that led to the start of Alan's bullying. They were going to take them to a warehouse which was anonymously owned and ensure the teens couldn't escape the room. Jeff had told Penelope the places that Alan had experienced bullying and Penelope had her ways to hack into the school computer system which recorded class discussions for streaming should a student miss class. There she asked an associate to listen and to increase the volume and clarity of the audio.

Soon the recordings were set to play on a loop, intermixed with a subliminal message to brainwash the students against future bullying or peer pressure and to stand up for the weak link. The students that had performed the bullying would be placed in a small circle and tied to their seats with blindfolds secured over their eyes. They'd be forced to listen to the audio and made to learn a new setting besides their original setting.

In this case, humans were the equivalency of computers. People could be reprogrammed the same that a computer with a new hard drive could. The purpose of this mission was to force the students to change so they didn't wreck more lives like they'd wrecked Alan's.

"Alright Parker…thirty minutes from now we'll be delivering our precious cargo. There we'll enact stage two of our plan. Stage one however is to apprehend our subjects." Lady Penelope murmured as they set the vehicle into stealth mode. They were parked outside of St. Alexandria's School for Girls. Lady Penelope set a timer before donning a black mask. "I'll return with our first subject in ten minutes, then we'll go retrieve your two subjects."

"Yes m'lady." Parker replied. "I'll be waiting for your signal."

 _… … … … … … …_

Lady Penelope snuck through the halls of the school. She paused momentarily outside of the door that led into the girls dorm. She entered the code that allowed her entry to the hall and slid through the door before letting it swing closed with a gentle click. Keeping an eye on her watch, Lady Penelope soon entered a room with several girls sound asleep. She glanced at every girl in the room before finding the one responsible for Alan's bullying. She quietly lifted her from her bed and made quick work of leaving the school.

After she delivered her precious cargo to the waiting car, she and Parker went on to the boys school. There Parker retrieved Joey and Thomas. It took Parker a bit to bring out both Thomas and Joey though, both boys weighed more than they looked and Parker struggled under their weight. By the time all three of them had been loaded in the car and delivered to the warehouse, both Penelope and Parker felt bushed. They weren't finished yet though.

The next phase of their plan was to get them set up before they woke up and soon the three teens were fastened into their chairs, arms and legs secured to the chair. The pair worked quickly to carry out their plan. Blindfolds of a thick black material were tied over their eyes and headphones were slipped over their ears. Once in place, Penelope gave the signal to Parker to hit play and they sat back to watch the kids when they would awaken.

The teens didn't disappoint either. They woke up immediately when the recording played. Parker and Penelope listened to the recording themselves and both were in awe at the audacity of the three teens.

"Please let me go. I didn't do anything wrong!" The girl, Hannah begged. Penelope curled her lip in mild disgust when Hannah began to cry and tears combined with the snot dripping from her nose. The girl was shaking visibly making Penelope and Parker look at the other with a raised eyebrow. They weren't fooled by the girl's innocent act, they knew as well as she that she was in the wrong for trying to force Alan into an activity he wasn't interested in.

The other two on the other hand seemed to not want to listen and as a result the volume was turned up so that it was blasting. Thomas yelped at the louder volume while Joey cringed.

This went on for over three hours and before Penelope and Parker knew it the teens had fallen into an exhausted slumber. The duo hoped the subliminal message got through to the teens. They wouldn't know it until they checked up on the kids in the next couple of days. Penelope had a couple contacts that could pose at the kids' schools to check up on them to see if they were still bullying their fellow students or not.

 _… … … … … … …_

Penelope and Parker safely returned the three students to their rooms before departing like smoke in the air. Over the next few days they observed the students through the eyes of individuals temporarily planted at the school. Soon they learned that their plan worked like magic. Joey and Thomas who had continued mocking Alan following his removal from the school straightened up. According to the plant at the school, those two boys had changed completely.

As hoped, Joey and Thomas both stood up to fellow students that were picking on their peers. Individually they held their own, when combined however they were a formidable pair. Penelope and Parker saw a change in the two boys in one instance and were amazed at the results.

A student that resembled Alan in not only looks but mannerisms was being picked on the same way that Alan had been picked on but by another student. He was tripped in the cafeteria and a student intentionally shoved their tray of food into the boy that so favored Alan. He was observed by the temporary plant to be a young boy with a gentle heart and equally shy. When he looked horrified at having food dumped over him and looked near tears, it was Joey and Thomas that came to his defense.

Both Joey and Thomas helped the boy up and they walked with him back to his dorm, so he could change before remaining to keep him company. It was apparent that the boy didn't have a friend. Joey and Thomas took it upon themselves to be his friend. The girl, Hannah on the other hand seemed to have changed as well. It hadn't been part of the subliminal message, but the girl seemed to have developed a taste for studying instead of going to the teens club that led to the mess with Alan. Hannah stayed in more, being on her best behavior which was noted by her teachers.

The next time Penelope talked to Jeff, she was pleased to report that she'd nipped the problem in the bud but wouldn't explain further what she'd done to the teens responsible for Alan's bullying. Jeff was left in the dark on that matter and he didn't find out until later when he was going through the mail. Flicking through the numerous bills, Jeff paused when he saw a large manila envelope addressed to Alan care of Jeff Tracy. He glanced at the return address and contemplated shredding the contents before he stilled. Feeling he had a right to open the envelope before Alan, Jeff did so and glanced over the three neatly folded letters. He gathered all three of them and prepared to rip them in half when a thought made him stop.

Alan deserved to have the choice of reading these letters. Already the ability to choose had been snatched away from his youngest son and Jeff didn't want to play a role in that. Swallowing deeply, Jeff set the rest of his mail aside before going off in search of his youngest son. He carried the mail for Alan in his hand and he checked every room he could think of before stopping short. Alan didn't appear to be anywhere in the immediate area and everyone he'd seen and asked hadn't seen Alan for a while. Deciding to check the crows nest next, Jeff made his way up there where he found Alan immersed in a book. Sheba was sitting on his stomach and she seemed to be reading along with Alan.

"Alan?" Jeff asked making Alan startle. Ocean blue eyes looked at him and Jeff sat on the arm of the large chair Alan was curled up in. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Alan shrugged slightly. Before marking his page in his book and setting it aside so his dad had his full attention. Once his dad had his undivided attention, Jeff moved around to sit on the coffee table in front of Alan. He held up the manila envelope to open the conversation.

"I was going through my mail when I got to this envelope and it's addressed to you, but it's from your old school. I wanted to give you the choice if you wanted to read the letters inside or if you'd rather I destroyed them." Jeff explained before handing the letters to his son. At Alan's slight puzzled look, Jeff provided further explanation. "I saw who it was from and I opened it to see what it was. I hope you'll forgive me for opening your mail."

Alan shrugged again, not caring that his dad opened his mail. He expected it, he was terrible when it came to opening mail. He often forgot about the mail and it wouldn't get opened for months.

Glancing through the letters, Jeff noticed Alan's face paling.

"Are you okay Alan?" Jeff asked, concerned for his son when he saw Sheba begin to nuzzle and purr louder.

Alan handed the letters back before flicking his hand at it. He was afraid to read the letters. It made him wonder what he'd have to do or where he'd have to go to escape the bullying.

"Do you want me to get rid of these?" Jeff asked before seeing Alan shake his head in the negative. It took Jeff a moment to figure out what his son wanted but soon it dawned on him. "Do you want me to read these to you?"

Alan nodded at that and Jeff sucked in a deep breath before unfolding the first of the three letters.

"It says, ' _Dear Alan,_

 _I'm sorry. I know saying I'm sorry doesn't fix the pain I caused you, but I hope you can accept my apology. I shouldn't have come on to you and pressured you to have sex with me when we were at the teen club and for that matter I shouldn't have mocked you to your classmates. I know now that what I did was wrong. I know better than that, but I let my immaturity cloud my judgement and as a result, I hurt you. I know I ruined whatever chance I may have had at befriending you, but I hope one day you can forgive me. I was being petty and immature. It's not right and I am very ashamed of my actions._

 _I went to my headmaster and reported myself when it was announced at our school of your accident at your school. She was sorely disappointed in me and she called my parents, so they'd know what I'd done. I don't know what they'll do for my punishment, but I hope I can better learn from my mistakes._

 _I'm so sorry Alan and I can understand if you don't reply._

 _Hannah XOXO'_

Jeff sighed when he finished reading that letter and he looked up at his son to see his bottom lip trembling, but no tears had fallen. Jeff had learned over the last few months that Alan's anger had changed. Instead of his usual explosive outburst, Alan had become a silent angry person. He showed it on his face and in his body language, but no longer yelled or argued. He was practically vibrating with righteous anger. If Jeff wasn't an intimidating individual in his own right, he might have feared his son's anger.

"Do you want me to continue reading?" Jeff asked, unsure if Alan wanted to hear another letter. Alan's curt nod told Jeff what he wanted to know about Alan's feelings, and he unfolded the next letter. "Okay. It says, ' _Dear Alan,_

 _If you ever come back to school, I'm giving you the ability to hit me with your best shot. I know violence doesn't solve things and it's not appropriate of me to encourage you into beating a person up, but I feel you deserve that chance. The way I treated you was inexcusable. It was horrible for me to goad the others into picking on you and I wanted to extend my sincerest apologies to you. When I turned myself in as one of those responsible for leading you to self-mutilate, I was told that I would be allowed to carry out the remaining two months until the end of the school year; but I would not be permitted to continue my education here. My parents are furious and have told me that I am being sent to boot camp._

 _I know it's too late for an apology, but I hope one day you can forgive me. It was wrong of me to hurt you like that and I'm ashamed in myself for doing those things to you._

 _Joseph Michael 'Joey' Blomberg III'_

Jeff shook his head at the long-winded name of the boy that led to Alan being on suicide watch. He was glad that boy had been told that he was basically being expelled. He hadn't heard of any punishments being determined for the boys responsible, so this came as a bit of a pleasant surprise. When he looked up at Alan however, he could see that Alan seemed to have shut off his emotions.

"Do you want me to read the last letter?" Jeff asked, hesitantly.

"I don't care. Read it, burn it…it's up to you." Alan replied hotly, surprising even Jeff. This probably the first time in well over a month that Alan had shown anger and voiced it. As nice as it was to not argue with his youngest, Jeff felt off not having the occasional shouting match with his youngest.

"Okay." Jeff said before clearing his throat. "It says, _'Alan_

 _I know the last person you want to hear from is my sorry ass. I have nothing to say except I'm sorry…plain and simple. I know that I'm sorry doesn't excuse the things I said or did to you and I've had time to reflect on those things. I'm ashamed in myself and when I was pulled out by my father he insisted I go stay with my grandfather. Both my father and grandfather were disgusted in my bullying someone and it was especially painful for my father because of what happened to my older sister. She tried to kill herself when she was our age and lives in a group home now. I should have known better and I found some sort of twisted glee in making you feel bad because it made me feel strong._

 _I'm pathetic, and I should have learned from the pain inflicted on my sister and have better judgement. I know you didn't deserve what we did to you and I'll never let myself live it down. For as long as I live I'll feel regret for the pain I caused you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope one day we can move past this._

 _Thomas Herman'_

Jeff was startled as he finished reading the letter when the door leading to the crow's nest slammed shut. Jeff heaved a great sigh before following Alan from the room. He wasn't expecting his other sons to be sitting in the living room, looking like they'd seen a ghost. Virgil was holding Sheba who seemed to be trying to hide under his shirt.

"Have you seen your brother?" Jeff asked.

"I think he was headed downstairs." Scott said, looking a little concerned.

"Okay. Just give us a few minutes before any of you try to come down with us." Jeff said. Jeff had already given Alan more than enough time to be about finished with whatever he was doing. With that said Jeff turned to go downstairs. Moving down the ramp, Jeff could hear a rhythmic popping noise. The closer he got, the more he could pick out the popping noise was Alan's fists connecting to the punching bag. When he rounded the corner, he saw Alan delivering a variety of punches and kicks to the punching bag which was swinging on it's chain. With the last of his energy, Alan delivered one more punch which had a lot of strength packed in it. The punching bag swung off the hook it was attached to and fell at Alan's feet before Alan collapsed right next to it. Jeff was there in a heartbeat.

"Alan." Jeff said before he knelt in front of Alan and took his shaking hands in his. He looked at Alan's bruised and bloodied knuckles before making a tsk noise. "Where are your gloves?"

Alan didn't offer an answer and Jeff stood to retrieve the first aid kit. Taking a seat on the floor mat, Jeff took one of Alan's hands in his, so he could clean Alan's knuckles and bandage them accordingly. Once that was done, Jeff moved on to the next hand before he handed a couple Tylenol and a bottle of water to Alan.

"Alan?" Jeff inquired before he watched Alan wilt.

"I'm so angry." Alan muttered under his breath before kicking the punching bag which was still laying on the ground beside him. "I _want_ them to feel bad. I'm sick if I take pleasure from their pain, but I want them to get bullied as badly as I was. I don't want them to go through life and to forget about what they did to me. I want them to always remember and to never forget. I want them to know what real pain is. I want to kick their asses! And I don't hit girls, but I want her to know pain as well!"

Alan grabbed the letters that his dad was still carrying before he ripped them up until they were too damaged to recognize who wrote what to whom. Once he'd torn up the letters and envelope, he threw them on the floor before stomping on them with the heel of his shoes and grinding them into the floor. Before storming off to burn off the remaining anger, Alan spat on the letters that lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. His dad stared at the pile of paper on the floor before looking at his son. He knew Alan was far from healed, but he knew this outburst was healthy and Alan deserved to show his feelings without being rebuked. It was the first of hopefully many more outbursts that might bring Alan back to them. Already it'd been two months since Alan cut too deeply and he was released by his doctor if he promised he wouldn't do it again. He swore to his dad and brothers that he'd come to any one of them before he returned to cutting.

Jeff was pleased with Alan's progress and he hoped Alan continued to improve. He knew his son was doing better and his brothers had taken to aiding Alan and Fermat with their classes and had even taken to teaching Tin-Tin and incorporating her lessons in with the boys'. Jeff knew it wouldn't be immediate, but hopefully soon he'd have his little boy back.


End file.
